I have been walking around with each step meditating on i've been
racialized as white, and that is a really big concept like permeates so many places.
I don't even know all of them but it's been very interesting to to just hold that awareness of being racialized as white, .
And somebody else is racialized is back black, and somebody else is Chinese, and somebody else is whatever
The teenx So I I think that's been a really opening.
Curious experience, and I so loved again in her interview her i'm like clear not about shame not about guilt.
And that in my walking around racializes White.
I believe that is some of my racialization, my indoctrination as my past history.
Not just I mean so Whites one element, but so is Catholic.
So is being born into my family at a certain time in in history, and a certain time in my family's history.
So There's all these layers of racialization that are so out of my consciousness that it's kind of like, Wow!
And i'm just getting aware of that the layers and layers and layers and layers, and layers. it's like the layers of labels that you've been been indoctrinated into well, and even not
even like nobody said you're white . indoctrination. doesn't imply that someone said it like that you you have been indoctrinated like you've been brought in and they have work to your mind through a
system. So It's like white being one catholic being one it's like you don't you don't have to be told.
I'm a Catholic if you're taken to Church every day, If you're red from the Bible, and like raised with Catholic values, you just become Catholic you don't have to be told you're white, you
need to be raised with this awareness, that there is difference between us and them, and the difference is the color of our skin, and that means whatever which is shown, not told more often than not right.
The best brainwashing doesn't happen with words well it doesn't happen directly.
Yeah. and yeah, I can remember reading don Miguel Ruiz the 4 agreements, and he starts off with a whole introduction to you have been brainwashed.
You've been told lies by your parents and I got so offended by that, like my parents didn't lie to me.
I I just was like, What are you talking about? and I love the 4 agreements which are take nothing personally.
Assume nothing. Do your personal best, and speak no poison.
I use them all the time they're like ancient aztec wisdom, but it's only in in these last years of looking at the racial divide in our country that i've come to see what exactly he was
trying to say , I thought that was pretty interesting, too.
Yeah. and to bring in what what Bridge had shared with us in the interview that was released last week?
This idea of integrity as being homeless, and that, like systems like the Catholic Church systems like like the racial system of America.
Our systems that teach separation from, so they divide us from aspects of ourselves.
Right. So like when I hear someone like Don Miguel share about the lies it's like the lie is that I am not connected , to to something that some part of me is impure right so like , like
the idea of sin right being a lie it's like the business is an un pure part.
I am. I have to like atone for my sins in order to be pure and that there is this idea of like purity in general.
The way that it's used but by both like racialization, like I was just watching a movie last night.
That was taking place. it's called the zookeeper's wife.
Oh, I read that, or I watched the movie, and I read the book.
Yeah, yeah, So I haven't I haven't finished it yet.
But just like, you know, Nazi germany and this idea of like purity.
It's like that like I mean what a lie What a lie!
And I don't know if you know this but There's a woman, a psychiatrist named Alice Miller, who studied Hitler, and what was his vulnerability or his darkness that he became so adamant about a pure
Aryan race is because he was the bastard child of a woman who was a a o pair for a Jewish family, and he was the offspring, and from that place he came to wanna purify the races because he
didn't feel pure. sure. yeah, and I guess I wanna just like exercise caution.
When for me, when I hear that it feels like there's truth in that, and also that it's bigger And I I say that because, like what what Hitler did so publicly, what the Nazis did so publicly and
when I say publicly like, yes, like big at the time publicly, but also it's been spotlighted in our history books.
Wasn't new? Oh, right yeah it was not new and happened on this continent in its own ways more than one way.
Happened in apple in more than one way like the first one of the things that you're you're gonna get to learn and heal myself as you're going in when I do the history i'm guessing that
they'll touch on this? But i'll just touch on it now real quick.
Is that, like the first German interment, camps didn't happen in Europe, they happened in Africa, and they happened, I believe, prior prior to the the rise of Hitler, and and like the Nazis, as we as we knew them there was
genocide in Africa before that right yeah and then another history that I've read is that Hitler actually studied how we handled blacks in this country to figure out what he was going to do with the juice
he took training his his methodology from American soil.
Yes, yes, Eugenics was, as far as I know, define eugenics.
Eugenics is the the process of racial purification.
Okay, and maybe there's a bigger definition of it But that's the way that i'm understanding it, and based on the history that I've gotten to learn over the last few years like that really was
spearheaded by folks in what we call the United States and was borrowed and applied in in Nazi, Germany, and elsewhere, and is also not not gone.
No, So all of that like, wow, we just yeah and and so here here's like what I what I want, what this brings up for me right?
So, cause any time I talk about this I feel, too, things.
I feel like a deep responsibility. and I feel a lot of sadness and the responsibility that I feel at least in a in a past iteration of myself might have manifested as resistance or shame we're
guilt. Because you know, like I am somebody in this body who has in some way shape or form, whether it's directly or indirectly.
At the very least benefited from these things. and at the very worst, ancestors that perpetuated in some of that I don't know
And when I bring that in for myself like it has felt so liberatory to acknowledge those feelings
And to begin to notice that, like my resistance, is actually those feelings.
Hmm I I can remember sitting at the dinner table.
At your house. Actually, mom and I was honest. It was some some holiday, and this was when Laura and I were still together.
And her mom was there at the dinner table with us.
Shout out to sue I don't know she'll ever listen to this but teacher, for me in this moment that i'm gonna speak to, and I used the word tribe and when I used it she said something and I
don't remember exactly what she said, but I got really defensive and one when I got defensive like, you know, kind of shut down the conversation, but like that interaction, not the specifics of the words, but the way that the energy in my
body felt stuck with me, and it was something that later on, as I was going through the work of like really looking at my resistance, really looking at the the programs that I was running the identity programs that I was running racialization
is white, being one of them genderification as man being another of them.
And there's there's many others, that I started to feel into that conversation, and notice that, like my defensiveness, came from a place of feeling like her.
Words probably had merit like knowing that in my heart it's like what she just said.
There's something to it and I Don't want to look at it. Hmm!
Hmm. because if I look at it i'll have to change and I don't want to change right now. is there?
This this thing is like when we look at something in ourselves.
When I look at something in myself, it will change And if I really look at it and acknowledge it, then, like I'm, gonna get pulled back towards this this idea of integrity.
This this concept, known as integrity or wholeness right it's like all of this is me right all the feelings that i'm having are me So like what happens when I have resistance to them right now
I have. I have resistance to myself, and when I have resistance to myself, then, like the next thing, you know, like aspects of myself, are getting like compartmentalized and shut down, and I have less access to myself.
I like that
I like that, and it all brings it brings me back to fear
And so, mom, what's the time in your life when you can remember being really afraid.
Well, mini how personal I mean I could do it with you.
I could do it. Other places how personal do you want to get, or how personally you want to get what's the time in your life when you were really afraid, and that everything worked out.
Several what's the first one that comes to mind the first one.
Well, the first one was you. the second one was my having married Con man, and finding out he was a conman, and I can remember being up in my little house 182 Ridgeway in Fairfax in the in
the study just terrified. How was I ever going to recover from from the $85,000 of debt that he had incurred and left me with
As I threw him out of the house. when I found out he was the conman and facing bankruptcy, facing
My own shame, my own loneliness! just having no frigate idea how I was gonna go through the mountain of mess that was in front of me.
I mean he'd even condemn my the bank manager where I had my bank accounts.
And I I just kept praying and breathing, and one stepping a time one step at a timing it
And then I reached out to friends particularly when girlfriends shout out to Nancy Maza, who invited me to go live with her so I could rent out the house.
Move back to the city and kind of keep my private practice going.
So ha! I had income and hit and then several months later i'm at your dad, and we fell in love and
It was rough because I had to put him through the grill around.
Are you here for money? Are you here for my money, cause cause I just got screwed by a man around money?
And some of it he was. Some of it was his friend.
My friend Robert said, Oh, she's got a house somewhere in she's got money so that was an element.
So yeah, it worked out. and here I am, 36, 39.
Years later, I have 2 beautiful sons, a wonderful husband i've been married for 36 years.
I own a home. I have grandchildren that I love and have time with.
I have a thriving practice. It worked out sorry thank you for sharing this.
I don't know if that was the less of the more personal, but i'm appreciating you opening up either way.
So I wanna I wanna like rewind to this moment that you'd shared your you're in your house.
And you're terrified and you're grappling with like the shame, and then not knowing
What was the shame the shame that here I was a therapist?
And i'd been conned How could I an intuitive smart educated woman.
Get contacted by this man and I I went through that in lots of different, you know, like angles like the fact that I I met him at a neural linguistic programming seminar run by my friend John grinder
so I thought I was in a safe place and I didn't have to have my hyper vigilant scanning up the fact that if I was each year prior I had gone through a major loss a a breakup of
10 years from the man I thought I was gonna marry my father dying.
Year later, my mother dying, and this is the new year where I think i'm thriving i'm moving back out out of the grief to go to a seminar with John Grinder and learn this whole new
procedure, not understanding that there are people who were coming to learn how to use it, to manipulate people not to heal them, which was Andy's Mo.
He was learning how to be a better manipulator and so you're a therapist, you've been conned, and this is like hurting hurting your perception of yourself as an intuitive and smart person, and
that's the shame yes, right so if i've if i've been Con.
Then I must not be intuitive and smart. Okay, that would be one major right?
And how did you come back from that?
Well in in describing the vulnerable state I was in, that I just did and adding in that as a con man, and having observed me in the class already, he listened, which is what he was training himself to do with
where were my values? And you know, at this dinner at the sardine factory that he and he, he said, And so one of the things with Nlp.
It is called it in sales it's called the assumptive clothes.
So when we have dinner tonight, where would you like to go?
So it assumes you're going to have dinner and it's just.
And so you're caught between what you're answering the Assumption, or the place and I I went.
I I went to the place, not the assumption, although I think I laughed.
When you are such a flirt, or something like that. and I actually think I said, I don't know about dinner, but you were such a flirt.
And then, but I ended up going to dinner with him, and at the dinner he looked me.
The I said, you are the first woman. In 10 years since my wife, pregnant wife died in a car crash on her way home to our home in Florida, where she had her own private practice, her own office on the property and
we raise great Danes and horses. So the other vulnerability in me was.
I had for years thought it was up to me to reinstate the the wealth of my family that had gotten lost over the years, and that I was going to be that rescuer of the family name by marrying a
wealthy man, who, as well as established, who I could, you know not.
You know I could raise my head up from being a therapist and little private practice on Click Street in San Francisco.
So there were. There were esteem issues of my own, like achievement, esteem, issues of my own.
That he was calling to. And then the other thing was, he was talking about a business he had in Africa.
Working with the leaky foundation and setting up scientific expeditions, and he was looking for a therapist.
He'd come to this seminar to see if you could find a therapist to go work with him, and that was like all about getting out of town changing changing businesses.
So that was the firstler was changing businesses going on an adventure, traveling, being a therapist, you know, somewhere else, doing something else.
And then that night he he did the second piece. So I had 2 chunks that were like, Yes, my dreams, and they were all alive, yeah.
And and so it sounds like being able to go back and and look at the ways that you were lied to.
Was a way that you could remember that it's okay to be who you are, and that like someone was like actively manipulating you and i'm still I i'm guessing that in that.
There. there must have been like a a feeling of like you couldn't trust yourself after that absolutely. And so and like I i'm hearing you speak to like the okay like this happened And then i'm wondering like like what did you
implement and you'd mentioned Dad, and like having to like grill him and I think that's probably part of this like. How did you prove to yourself moving forward that you that you could trust yourself.
Well, so one of the major things I did. Another shoutout was: I got into a dream group with Gail Delaney who is a dream psychologist?
And I started bringing my dreams to her and in So she's actually it was through the dreams that I actually came to the realization that he was a conman I I didn't know it until that time and
then the final linchpin was Another woman that he was conning called me to say that he had used her credit card to fund our honeymoon through the southwest, which is where I got that hopi drum
that I gave you back a little bit.
Just talking about this with you. The idea that this is one level of conning that happened to me.
And then in my work of how I came back to trust myself.
Part of it was, How did this happen, like what happened to me to be susceptible?
So I told you some of them the next was my family.
My father became an alcoholic after his nervous breakdown, and the idea of don't talk about it.
And denial became one of the things that was our survival pattern.
So I also got to look at that like what set me up already.
And now, when we're looking at racialization like i've been racialized and con culturally the idea that I've been lied to in these bigger arcs is what i'm now like whoa this is
layers and layers and layers of light to and in the same, how did I come back to loving myself?
It was through a lot of compassion and self forgiveness, as well as finding like in the dream group having a collective of people who were around me.
And then David Cheek. Another shout out was a
Obg William hypnotherapists that I worked with who basically invited me into his office and subled to me.
And I began to work with him, and he fed me clients, and he was instrumental in helping me build myself back up as a therapist and financially able to support myself.
So yeah, there was a lot of helpers that came in.
And how did you? How did you approach new relationships moving forward so that you could make sure that you weren't getting cond in the same way?
Well, actually, I I I wasn't really working on new relationships.
I was just trying to be a single woman in San Francisco.
Trying to enjoy life again. so I I really wasn't looking for a relationship.
And then rob Gordon, who is a Therapist in my suite of offices, saw me at a party that a friend of mine, Maria, brought me to, and it was at friends Laurel in Jeremy's house
rob me Laurel and Jeremy marie and you Laura and Jeremy.
I didn't know anybody there and when rob came into the kitchen and saw Laurel introducing my friend Maria to Tom.
He came in and went. He didn't recognize what Laurel was doing.
He, just with a few drinks under under his belt.
He just shouted it out across the kitchen Tom That's the woman I've been telling you about this is Don.
I've been telling you! about her, and Tom was being set up with Maria by laurel, and he was just like, Oh, my God, get me out of here!
So I I wasn't in a situation to be grilling people particularly, hey?
Maybe I need to take care of myself rather than looking for a man to to bring me towards this like renewal of family legacy.
And well right. If if my questions here get too personal, please feel free to to say so.
But so you mentioned Gail Delaney. and you mentioned the dream work and you mentioned that it was in your dreams that you began to realize that this is a con man.
So i'm being con . and part of that what What that says to me is that you knew you were being conned .
At a deep level right and that it was through paying attention to your dreams like the expression of the 7 unconscious for yourself, could also just maybe call spirit that you were able to realize what was happening
which kind of circles me back to this like broader context of intenseity.
And and this idea of fear is that
So there's this this idea of discernment. and Bridge talked about this in our in our last episode, and I highly recommend anybody that hasn't listened to that episode just to go check it out just so much wisdom
shared. But it's like there is real intangible danger that we encounter as humans right con man being one of them right people that are lying to us manipulators and being able to
discern what is in our in our interest and what is not as like a really really valuable skill.
And when we're living within a system that consists day in and day out, when I say con lies to us day in and day out, it becomes easier and easier for us to miss what we should be afraid of hmm what is
really ours to be afraid this is true for me right So it's like if i'm if i'm living in a place where I am constantly afraid i'm gonna look for things to keep me out of
here distractions, distractions, like the magic pill right so let me.
I'll put this in a body example because I feel like that's like my most tangible playground.
Okay, so. and mom i'm gonna and this is relating to what you've been sharing, I just wanna like add in this example, , So as as a movement coach and personal trainer I work with a lot of people that were
in pain, physical pain, and the physical pain. Industry is very alive and very well.
Aka painkillers both over the counter and and prescription right epidemic levels of overuse of painkillers is very very alive and in the end this country probably
globally, and I have had many experiences of working with people where they're They're pain symptoms rather than looking at their whole body, and how their posture lifestyle food choices stress levels etc. were
we're showing them their pain as a cry for like hey?
Let's get out of this like let's change something.
It was easier for them to take a pill issue is that the pill doesn't actually like take their pain away.
It's a lie , right it just puts it so they can't feel it and then long term.
Next thing you know they're you know take an iprofen, because my shoulder hurts i'm taking, you know, 4 pills a day, 5 pills a day whatever for indefinitely.
It's like Oh, i'm having digestive issues my sleep is messed up, my skin's getting messed up and oh, man, now I need to get shoulder surgery because I wasn't paying attention to
this dysfunctional movement. And now I actually have worn out my joint right where like in the P.
Like, maybe 1020 years ago, if I had like. learned about postural integrity, like what my body needs to act as a whole body. I could have avoided this right.
And so there's a con it's a huge con a pharmaceutical con if you take this pill you will feel better.
Right well, and and let's just so let me the con is. If you take this pill, you will feel better.
The reality is that if you take this pill you will feel less of the pain that your body is feeling, and you'll disconnect from yourself.
Right? and when I say this like it's not to like, there's a place for pain killers. don't get me wrong, right.
But what is their place? and so like in my my experience like and i'm i'm on the other end of this i'm like I don't want to take every proven ever and I was like yo like
you you sprained your ankle like takes a microphone. like like It'll probably really help like, Oh, yeah, okay, I should probably do that when I have like this injury for a little while. right?
So coming coming back to it. in this example that you shared. There's this like the con is i'm here to make you feel better right, right, and you shared Mom that like you were you were ripe for this like
It was like here's all of the ways that I set myself up for this con to be able to work right, cause i'm not enough by myself to get the family legacy back on track I need a man
I need someone who's going to take me out of this zone, and and then to come out of it like as in your healing journey.
What i'm hearing from you is self forgiveness which is the like looking at all of the factors that were out of your control.
, and then i'm guessing also like consciously, or not like stepping into like Oh, i'm actually going to take control of what's mine to take control of right and as you did that it sounded like
people kind of showed up out of the woodwork for you.
Right like. Here, take this office here, Have this house here like we're gonna help you get on your feet.
We're gonna help you build yourself and that part of that was you showing up with.
I don't know what to do I need help
How was it to ask for help Well, I that's a good question.
I'm. I was pretty desperate I don't think it was so hard to ask for help.
But I had to be discerning about who to ask for help, because I could not afford to run into any more shame or judgment.
Without feeling like I crash. So And both Nancy Maza and David Cheek were huge, big hearted people that were very generous.
And their offers, and and so I was as was Gail Delaney.
She was a nice, beautiful human being or is she She's still here, David Cheek's deceased Nantumas is still here.
So yeah, I don't I don't I i'm not someone who feels
I can't ask for help, but I think the shame of the situation made it more difficult to ask for help.
Sure, and you know if if I stand in truth today, looking at the cons that are all around us, I would like, of course I was ripe for a
But what you're talking about is that if we're going to go all the way back to remembering that we are whole, and that all of our parts are are significant.
We're not separate from all of our ourselves or each other and I mean my work now is really we're in discovery on this planet as a human.
We're here to discover we're gonna make tons of mistakes on one level, and nothing's a mistake at all on the other level.
So I think that's a pretty interesting on this planet of polarities and complementarity that's a big piece that I've been really looking at in in particular last couple of weeks.
And just enjoying that vision version of life cause it's so much lighter.
It's so much lighter in this really heavy time like It's all discovery, .
And it's all balanced so as dark, as it is it's as light as it is.
And and I think that's really helpful in times where we have such a big particular racial divide in this country.
Political divide the religious divide I mean everywhere you look there's division.
Hmm: Yeah. I guess I just wanna like toss in There it's like there is the illusion of division.
Thank you. Okay, , and Bridge Bridge said this really beautifully.
In our last episode, and I won't try it to to quote her. But what I what I will say from my own experience is like part of my work, has been that of like really learning how to appreciate difference,
And and to appreciate my connection to that difference. like I live in a particular body in a particular place in time, and I am not the same as everybody else.
And I I love love love. the definition of humility.
That bridge offered which was something, to the effect of not comparing yourself to anybody else better than worse than or equal to , and like I love that , and that that really sunk in for me so it's this
like from that place I can actually really appreciate difference if i'm holding on to that, I can notice when I tell myself the lie of Oh, i'm better than that or the lie of Oh, i'm less than
that or the lie of Oh, i'm the same or equal to that.
It's like. No, I am me and every every being else that i'm looking at listening to perceiving is them.
And if I if I stay me and they stay them, we can learn together.
Right, and so like when I make a mistake from that place i'm not less than i'm not equal to i'm not i'm not better than and so I can actually learn from my mistake when I
when I do something that leads me out of out of my wholeness, out of my integrity, I can, I can actually acknowledge.
Oh, I made a mistake. that was one of the things
So like. Very recently I had an interaction i'm not going to go into the details of it.
But it was like it was a really like I really didn't like the interaction.
And it it's not it's not resolved fully yet.
But what happened for me is like i'm getting to a place right now, and it's not perfect it's a journey.
But i'm getting better at when I have an interaction that feels negative for me
I'm getting better at taking a pause and noticing, where I have done something that is out of integrity, where I have done something that is out of alignment with my whole with my own my own sense, of
wholeness, and or the sense of wholeness of another person, Right?
Because if I diminish somebody else make myself bigger than then i'm out of integrity, and what's been really cool with that is like if I can pull back enough to just acknowledge what I have done that
has created a sense a lack of wholeness in a situation and not do anything else like there's so much space that opens up in that And it also is really hard because there's some piece, of me that
just want somebody else to take responsibility right well why can't you take responsibility.
Why can't you you should be have integrity to him like with that's they might not have that commitment right.
And if I if I apply that to them, then i'm not in that state of humbleness, right, so I have to be, This is my commitment.
It's not better. it's not worse or equal to It's just mine and here I am showing up for that.
And what happens next? I don't know which brings me to one more thing.
You would you would share that it's kind of the beginning of your story of the conning about praying and breathing.
How do you pray?
Well, i'm thinking back to that time and then i'm thinking of this time.
So back. then I don't well
Back. Then I remember sitting in that office, closing my eyes and just trying to clear my thoughts and follow my breath, because my thoughts were so destructive.
Scary So the idea of just breathing and not thinking was in itself a prayer.
And then the the prayer prayers that I was praying were, please guide to help me find a pathway through this.
I have no idea how to get through this
I still might pray the same like that. I may not say God so much as like.
Now I would do would be i'd send the too much energy down into the magma to be burned transmuted, and transform.
I'd call up great Mother Earth to be with me i'd get my grounding roots established, i'd go into my heart, up through my my brain, out to my higher self, and then out to expanded consciousness God
universal wisdom, and say, Please guide me in the highest and best way.
I have no idea what to do next and I cannot know and that's okay.
I can breathe into the not knowing and know that I am held in love and compassion.
I've done a lot of work to get from there in in that little study to here.
I've studied with a lot of teachers i've been through a lot of different systems, and I still kind of come to a little simple prayer, and then trying to get out keep out of my my mind as much as I can the
mind is making up a story versus the mind that's receiving information I'm.
Still working on delineating this too, and you'd You'd shared your process of like kind of listing.
What has happened, , which for me, I I hear that what you just shared is like, Okay, like the mind that's observing like, what am I observing , right?
And like taking that like being able to actually like. I find it really helpful to write that down, or like to speak it verbally.
Like to like, hey? This is all the things that has happened like outside of the meeting that i'm making of it. , So I can look at like, oh, like is the meaning that i'm making actually True, right so in in the recovery
world, they call it doing a fearless moral inventory.
Hmm. and moral, not as religious, but just. I think it would be considered an integrity practice like a fearless integrity.
Practice would be a better name for it. Actually, like, Where?
Where was I vulnerable, and where did I set myself up like?
What were the beliefs that I had at the time that were setups for me to be conned?
And we've outlined a couple of them already.
And and you know that I I do think that place of asking oneself those kinds of questions, and being willing to show up and answer is mentally emotional spiritual process.
That is really helpful in any any recovering from a situation and if It's fearless, then you are actually opening up more love.
So, for back to my my balancing act it's either love or fear, if i'm in fear i'm not in love, so how do I get back to love I go through with the fears are and see
That I don't know this is not the right word but see if they're in truth or not truth that I mean that that feels like a that that feels accurate to me it's like the the truth, first not truth
it's like like what do I have to be afraid of really right.
It's like I could be afraid that like i'm not gonna have enough food to eat.
But then I realized like, well, I haven't missed a meal in a very long time, and like that might not be true for somebody else.
Somebody else might have like, no actually like I am missing meals right? And so like, okay, like there's something to actually be like afraid of there and like, what? How can we?
How can we call in the help that we need like for myself like That's not a valid fear right.
So if i'm afraid of that it's like Oh, actually like that's not happening that's a lie.
I have plenty to eat that's just That's one that, like I've had come up somewhat recently, and it's like oh, that's actually like I I have this fear but it's not
true it's not happening I have the support that I need to be able to eat and keep a house or a house, etc.
Yeah. the the fear inventory is something that if you haven't learned about it yet you will through the remember institutes yield a self program and it's it's a system that I've
seen used elsewhere as well. which is also a form of prayer.
That I like that's a form of prayer yeah. So like the the fear inventory, i'll from several other teachers that I've had contact with is a process of like actually writing a letter to the
universal source. However, you choose to name that , and in this acknowledging to this universal source that I have fierce and , list them. This is my fear.
I have a fear of that. I have a few of that until it feels like you've hit a point of completion with the fears that are present, and then, to as a in a letter form like request that these fears be
offered up to to the creative energy of source and release from your body.
And I personally like to either rip it up or burn it thereafter, So there's actually some ritual around it.
Okay. So I'm presenting time because I have I have Another thing. .
And I do need to to close up, and I I guess I just want our presence.
My ancestors. right now. I have you got to share about your prayer, and I've been.
I've been praying in a new way lately, which is something that Ia invited me into a while back.
Just not mine to teach but I will share that i've set up an altar to my ancestors, and that each day I am feeding them.
I'm giving them food. I I make my ancestors breakfast, while I make my daughter breakfast each morning, and there's something really special about it.
I Couldn't even name it but that that act feels like it's like, and each time when I give them the food i'm i'm asking for guidance. i'm asking for for different resolutions and there
is some space that is created by that ritual that like I again.
I can't name but i'm really really curious about it and I'm.
Feeling very inspired by it. Cool, nice, mom.
Anything else that you feel called to share before we close up for today.